So my dad and I stayed up so late talking. He really let me in on some issues i know had to be very painful....I am so deeply touched and inspired even more to be as open with people who are closest to me too.
I am so lucky to have an amazing father and to be privileged to have him talk about such personal thoughts.
Eventhoug i balled my eyes out earlier..i feel so much better......
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Cherry
Here i go. My very first blog. Forgive me, I am not the best writer... and Im actually doing this just for me.
I have had the most traumatic couple of years and I've come out very wounded by everyone I have met and everyone I already knew since moving to a new place completely on my own.
After everything I have been through, I have hit a ridiculous new low emotionally and even physically, and I am just looking to start over and be happy again.
MY happiness had been taken from me and I just want it back!!!
I don't want to talk about the past here, the bad dreams will go away soon enough. Here, I want to talk about how I'm dealing with all of my fears and anxiety.
On a more positive note, I am so lucky that I have the most amazing parents who are here for me through all of this and I can look forward to their support.
Don't worry.... I'm not always this dark. But i do have alot of rage!!!
I can't seem to be able to trust anyone and I come off cold (and probably a bitch) to people. But I really need someone to talk to and not be afraid to say what's on my mind without worrying about what that person thinks of me or worse....wondering if they are really listening or tuning me out. God there's nothing worse than THAT thought popping up in my head when I'm talking and I lose my train of thought and it all goes to hell after that.
It's so weird to think that someone might even be reading this but if one person can relate that makes me feel better. It seems like no one understands and at least tgis way I don't have to see the confused or bored stares. :)
Still it feels good to have a safe haven to let it all out........
I have had the most traumatic couple of years and I've come out very wounded by everyone I have met and everyone I already knew since moving to a new place completely on my own.
After everything I have been through, I have hit a ridiculous new low emotionally and even physically, and I am just looking to start over and be happy again.
MY happiness had been taken from me and I just want it back!!!
I don't want to talk about the past here, the bad dreams will go away soon enough. Here, I want to talk about how I'm dealing with all of my fears and anxiety.
On a more positive note, I am so lucky that I have the most amazing parents who are here for me through all of this and I can look forward to their support.
Don't worry.... I'm not always this dark. But i do have alot of rage!!!
I can't seem to be able to trust anyone and I come off cold (and probably a bitch) to people. But I really need someone to talk to and not be afraid to say what's on my mind without worrying about what that person thinks of me or worse....wondering if they are really listening or tuning me out. God there's nothing worse than THAT thought popping up in my head when I'm talking and I lose my train of thought and it all goes to hell after that.
It's so weird to think that someone might even be reading this but if one person can relate that makes me feel better. It seems like no one understands and at least tgis way I don't have to see the confused or bored stares. :)
Still it feels good to have a safe haven to let it all out........
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